4 Pieces of Future Tech That Will Redefine Human Families

Here are some of my predictions for the future of our species.

1) Sex Robots

Lately I've been seeing a lot of material in the news about sex robots. More people are researching them, more people are building more variations of them and in greater numbers, more companies popping up selling them, more adult content featuring them, more appearances by them in media and more general acceptance of them by the public (London robot sex cafes come to mind).

Hey honey.

2) Parenting and Genetic Business

Now we've got genetic engineering techniques that allow people to create children with 3 parents. That's just the start. What's to stop you from being both parents of your kid (clone), or having two men or women creating a child minus the other sex? Nothing, and that's the point.

We have sperm and egg donors right now who, after achieving greatness or testing well for academic or physical traits, can donate their genetic material for good money. I foresee this becoming a business of the future for creating kids even greater than it is now.

How much would you pay for a child with the physical potential of an olympic decathlete, the brain power of Stephen Hawking meets Rain Man, the health and longevity of Jack Lelanne and that 122 year old French lady, Brad or Angie's looks while still having your striking eyes or strawberry blonde hair so that SOMETHING in there was still you and your partner (if you had one)? My guess is that you'd go full GATTACA if you were able so your kid didn't get left behind.

In the future, all children will be Ethan Hawke.

3) Love and Computers

Chat bots are getting more and more sophisticated. From speech recognition to speech synthesis, combined with personality/behavioral conversation trees. If you use instant dating apps, you can see these all the time and they might fool you for awhile. I've personally had to become a Turing Test expert to filter them.

There have been interviews with people who have gotten on really well with chatbots while thinking they were real, and psychotherapy chat bots have tested effectively for years. It is not a stretch to think that in the future you'll have AI advanced enough to be your perfect partner.

An AI programmed with ALL the behavioral studies and patterns, all the knowledge about you they can data-mine from the net, and then just personality profiles you fill out when ordering and THEY fill out while observing you in order to create your perfect partner.

That isn't to say a subservient slave who never disagrees with you and gets boring, but someone who is able to keep up with you, keep you on your toes, and be everything you need at any given time.

Someone who will stick by you through everything, but also give you space if you need it, be argumentative if you need it, someone who will never get boring and always make you happy even when you're being a complete ass and you're both debating the finer points of some dumb show.

How could a real partner compare?

I was one of like 10 people who actually saw this movie...

4) Artificial Wombs

Artificial womb tech has been under construction for decades and now it seems to finally be on the cusp of happening. It'll start small, mice, dogs, then move up to monkeys and finally humans. You won't even need a woman to gestate the master race.

The first thing that pops up when you Google "artificial wombs"

5) Conclusion

Where does that all leave us? Well for those of us who are lonely, or socially unable to make the connections to have a family even if we want one, the future looks very much like this in my mind:

You come home from work to your robot spouse who is everything you want in a person physically but has the transformational abilities to change it up once in awhile. They're happy to see you, you engage in banter and have a good life.

One day you both decide you're ready for children, so you head down to the baby doctor to discuss parenthood. You both decide what characteristics you want from each of you to potentially be in your child (your robot spouse will have to get their desired characteristics from a blank slate gene bank, of which I'm sure there will be many), then you select what other celebrities or athletes or geniuses you want influencing your child's genetic makeup if any. Baby goo is ready, now finding where to put it.

If your robot spouse is female, then you could have her carry the baby internally in an artificial womb, or you could carry the baby naturally if you're a female or your robot spouse is male. Or if neither of you wanted, you could grow the baby externally in a birthing pod.

This is like something from an old episode of Rick and Morty.

Yeah this episode.

The Punisher's Working Title Is "Crime"

The Punisher TV show on Netflix has the working title "Crime". Other less culturally relevant reporting has said "Oh it's a reference to the crime the Punisher fights" I say "It's a reference to CRIME AND PUNISHMENT YOU IGNORANT TROGS!" Can't wait for it to come out.

Clickbait Destruction!

I'm going to be working on a section of this site for destroying clickbait. Any I find that's relevant to me will be posted on here, but with non-clickbait titles and with an in-depth description of what's actually in the post along with a list of sources the post has if any. This is so you don't have to waste your time making a living for disingenuous scumbags.

Daredevil: Wilson Fisk Is Strong

Wilson Fisk is the Kingpin on Daredevil. He's portrayed by Vincent D'Onofrio and is VERY accurate to the comics. I enjoy the heck out of his portrayal.

In season 2, he meets Frank Castle (The Punisher) in prison. I love his portrayal of the Punisher.

Anyway, when they meet, Fisk is bench pressing in the yard and it looks like a lot giving nods to the great strength of his comic book counterpart. I was curious, how much is he actually lifting? Let's figure it out...

A shot of one end of the bar shows 5 plates of weight, meaning that he has 10 on the bar. But there's no way to identify the scale really in this picture.

So I watched a little more and took a second shot. This give us a sense of scale.

Then I went online to find out what 50 pound plates look like, and ding ding, we have a winner.

Kingpin is benching 10x50lb plates, plus 35 lbs for the bar means he was bench pressing 535 lbs by my estimate, and doing a pretty easy job of it. No wonder he can decapitate his underlings with car doors.

Tech Insider Released the Specs for The New $37 Nokia

And boy howdy does it look sweet.

It's a functional but efficient design like what we've come to expect from Nokia. Hopefully it's as durable as those old ones and not like insta-shatter Apple pieces of shit. Even though the company that makes iCrap now makes these.

A cheap phone for connecting the world, closer and closer we get to the technological rapture, the singularity, or becoming the Borg or Omar (Deus Ex 2 reference).

Warcraft Pun

As you will eventually get to know by reading my works, I'm huge on puns and dad jokes. This is a visual one I made today: My Monk could kill you with his Bear Hands.

6 Awesome and Futuristic Ways To Save Time

Time, one of the few things you can't buy more of in a literal sense. Everyone is always clamoring after more of it and you're probably spending the time reading this when you could be doing something you're "supposed" to do. The future is here now (sort of), and there are some amazing things out there that can save you precious seconds of time.

1.) Robo-bed Makes Itself

Waking up in the morning usually means you're sacked from staying up late on your phone. Fortunately, you can now save time in your morning with a robot bed that makes itself.




2.) Soylent and Meal Replacements

Recently meal replacements have had a resurgence in popularity among millennials in the form of a drink mix called Soylent. It claims to have everything the body needs to completely replace food if you want. This is like MANY other meal replacement shakes. No time wasted on meal prep or eating.

Soylent even comes in a caffeinated form and a bar form now.

3.) Electrical Stimulation Suit For Exercise

Who has time to exercise? Almost nobody if you believe obesity trends. One way to save time there is with electrical muscle stimulation, which has been around forever. It uses electricity to build muscles without actually exercising by forcing their contraction to stress levels comparable with actual movements. A new suit aims to make this portable and combine it with exercise to get hours of working out in minutes.

If you go with the calories in/calories out model, it could have your fatass into shape in no time.

Source: Daily Mail

4.) Smart Lights

Having lights that turn on when you enter a room and turn off when you leave, or can be controlled nearly at will by your smart phone (acting as a remote control) is extremely futuristic. And now, thanks to micro circuitry stored right inside the bulb, it can be yours without the need for remodeling your house or installing bulky systems. No more hassle to get up and turn off lights or mess around with any of that stuff.

5.) Self Driving Cars

Google, Tesla, and even Uber are all getting into the auto driving robot car scene. Time saving here involves catching up on sleep, or doing more work while your car is driving you to work. Plus robot cars can drive FAR FAR faster potentially than people can due to perfect traffic co-operation.

6.) Virtual Assistants and One Click Outsourcing

Since the advent of Tim Ferriss's book, the 4 Hour Workweek, tons of people have been hiring and using VAs and simple outsourcing tools to take so much of their responsibilities off their shoulders. Hiring people for cheap from across the world is pretty futuristic. MANY companies out there have VAs for hire and they can work on an hourly or task basis depending on your job.

Do a cost benefit analysis; if it saves you more time/money/stress to hire a VA than it would take you to do the task, then hire one. That's the whole point of any of this tech really.